Although this post pertains to a wide range of people of all ages who have specific goals and can even relate to outside the sports performance space, I'm going to write it in the view of working with my high school athletes specifically, because this is a topic that has been plaguing my cross country and track team lately.
Nonetheless, I am positive that anyone who reads this will be able to relate to the message on some level and I hope that this leaves you thinking differently about the way that you approach pressures in your life. If it does, I'd love to know how in the comments below.
My first coaching job out of college was at Great Bend High School in Kansas. I was hired as an assistant to coach the pole vault. Because of the bond and culture that we built this group of athletes will forever hold a special place in my heart.
High school athletes, like athletes of any age, are inundated by social media these days. Over the past few years I've noticed that the amount of negative self image and comparison to peers seems to have skyrocketed amongst the athletes that I work with. When I was an athlete, even well into my college years, social media wasn't a thing. Sure I was scouring websites like MileSplit and TFFRS in order to get an idea of how my competition was performing, but at the end of the day I mostly just had names and marks. I didn't know what they looked like and I sure as hell wasn't able to stalk them on social media. I had no idea if they were popular, or appeared to be happier than me. I've seen my athletes almost have a mental breakdown at meets because they noticed that there was someone there who has a huge social presence. They immediately compare themselves to their peers and spiral out of control.
I preach, constantly, about the importance of having strong mental fortitude, but at times it seems to fall on deaf ears. This is a very difficult skill to master for anyone, but especially high schoolers who in this day and age are terrified of making one tiny mistake, or looking dumb and having their mishaps captured on camera. I'll admit that I myself have moments of self doubt and struggle with fighting off the mental demons. But mastering your mentality is a skill that must be practiced just like acceleration and sprinting are. What my athletes don't always seem to grasp is just how much their negative mentality effects their performance in practice and competition.
Yes, my job as a coach is to be knowledgeable in human performance and be able to write a program that not only accomplishes the goals for the season, peaking the athletes at the right time etc., but also can be catered to the individual athlete's needs. But over the near decade that I have spent working with athletes I'm realizing more and more that what takes up more of my energy is training their mindset and trying to get them to understand that their mentality is everything in sport. Especially the sport of track and field and cross country.
I recently had a talk with the cross country team before one of our morning practices. I was trying to address some negative self talk, and general anxiety that seem to have been plaguing the team lately. That's the thing with kids too. Usually if one athlete starts to verbally spiral they all begin to verbally spiral together. They'll even gang up on me, and try to convince me how much they suck together when I start on with the positivity talk.
I worked on the speech the night before and practiced presenting it the entire 35 minute drive to the track. I wanted to make sure that my message would sink in at 6:30 in the morning. Getting any message to sink in that early is a difficult thing to do, but it seems especially challenging with high schoolers. Naturally.
After welcoming the team to practice I took a knee and let them know that I wanted to discuss a matter of great importance. I have found that lowering my level when talking about something like this helps the kids to understand that I'm not only serious about what I am saying, but also, coming from a place of compassion and not authority. My speech went something like this...
Team, do you know what the hardest part about being a coach is? It's not the early mornings or the late nights. It's not having difficult conversations with disgruntled parents or athletes who've had a bad day.
The hardest part about being a coach is watching your athlete's mentality get in the way of realizing their fullest potential. Every single one of you are extremely talented and full of so much potential, but day in and day out I watch you all stand in your own way. And that absolutely kills me as a coach.
When you show up to practice and immediately start complaining when you're asked to run a half mile warm up, or freak out and tell me that the times I want you to hit on reps are impossible, you're not allowing yourself to be present in the moment and you're stopping yourself from truly giving your best effort. You're tearing yourself down before you even begin. You're getting so wound up that you're actually wasting energy that could otherwise be used to help yourself perform.
And if you're talking to yourself like this on the track then I know for a fact that you're talking to yourself like this in all aspects of your life. In your other sports, the classroom and in the mirror. You're telling yourself that you could never be anything more than the person you are in this moment. And it kills me because as a coach I see your potential being sidelined. There's no workout that I can give you to get you to move out of your own way.
You have to wake up and decide that the pressure is surmountable. You have the power to decide the outcome of your future. No, you can't always control what happens to you, but you do have the power to choose how you handle it, grow from it and move on from it. When you choose panic and self depreciation you're choosing to be stuck.
Pressure is a privilege. It is an immense privilege to have a safe space to challenge yourself. There are so many people in this world, in our own city, who do not have the ability to show up to a team of likeminded athletes who want the best for themselves. Pressure is not something to run from or blame, it's something to grow from. You have the power to decide how you're going to overcome it. You have the power to shape your future, good or bad.
We only have a few short weeks left in our season. Do not allow your mentality to squander your talent and potential. Wake up every morning from here on out and choose to be kind to yourself, choose to embrace the pressure that is put on you, and choose to get out of your own way. Each and every one of you are so much stronger than you know. It's up to you whether or not you realize that strength.
We had a great practice that day. The team was encouraging one another and at our meet last weekend both the boys and girls teams finished better than they've ever done on the hardest, most hilly course we've been to yet.
On the bus heading to the meet, I asked the team if they remembered what we discussed in practice. All silently nodded, surly feeling my words, except for one of my lively freshman girls, who piped up, "Be a better person!"
It made me smile and shake my head. I suppose that is one way to look at it.
I can't say that they've been perfect in their pursuit to own their mentality, but they are no doubt starting to understand how much their mindset affects the outcome of their lives. Not just on the track, but in all of their endeavors. And if this is the only thing that I teach them, then I've done my job as their coach.
Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this post please like, share and leave a comment. All of it helps me gain more readers and reach more athletes.
-Coach Sonya
**The photo on the left is the first time I was at the USATF Junior Olympics as a coach in 2012.
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